Dating Advice From a Crazy Dog Guy

Amy Tokic
by Amy Tokic
Spring has sprung and love is in the air. After a long winter hibernation, it’s time to put your sexy self back on the market. Author Douglas Green has a few tips if your “Plus 1” is your pet.

It’s not uncommon to hear the phrase “crazy cat lady” or “crazy dog lady,” so it’s refreshing to talk to someone who considers themselves a “Crazy Dog Guy.” Douglas Green, author of The Teachings of Shirelle: Life Lessons from a Divine Knucklehead takes the moniker seriously and considers himself an expert not just on being one of those guys, but dating one of those guys!

The one thing that both pet-crazy men and women have in common is talking non-stop about their fur-baby (or even worse, calling their pet a fur-baby on the first date!). If you want to avoid that awkward moment when your date runs screaming from the restaurant, take some advice from Douglas – one of our favorite Crazy Dog Guys.

  1. First Date Urges: Last as long as you can without mentioning your beloveds. Don’t deny; just avoid the subject. Even do your best to keep your astounding animals off your mind. To help, before the date, think up ten other subjects you can discuss: a funny thing that happened at work, movies and TV shows, your favorite singer, sports… hey go ahead and discuss politics, sex, and religion if you need to, but just hold off on bringing up your menagerie!

Related: AllPaws App Wants To Help You Find Your Perfect Pet Match

  1. Obsess Much? Show your morality, not your obsession. If your date asks about animals, just say “Oh yes, I love them.” Speak about endangered species, makeup tests in rabbits’ eyes, the horrors of organized dogfighting and “Is that really true about the strings on tennis racquets?!” Or if it’s more your style, tell an exciting story about your big-game hunter exploits, or how you ridded your neighborhood of rats. Just keep it about you, and not about who’s stretched out on your couch or pillowcases.
  2. It’s All About Them (the people, not the pets): Turn the subject back onto them. If they ask specifically about pets, throw out “Yes I do have a pet. Have you ever had one?” Or “Yes, now that you mention it, my building allows animals. It’s so fun to see all my neighbors walking their dogs in the morning. What about where you live?” Maybe even talk about that special companion you had as a child (always a good heart-warmer), but don’t let them see the truth about you today… just yet.

Related: Doggy Chaperon Woes

  1. Don’t Pick Sides: There’s no bigger anti-cat snob than a dog owner, and vice-versa. How unfair! Even though you knew the second they mentioned their pussycat that your dog would never put up with those in the house, just take a deep breath, and let in the good news: Now you know you are both animal lovers – a beautiful thing to have in common. Plus, one reason dogs and cats are such great pets is that they’re so adaptable; so even if they aren’t thrilled with the idea, they’ll eventually tolerate new annoying roommates if it means keeping you in their lives. Plus, just think of the romantic and sexy changes this new energy can bring into your life: cat people can experience the all-consuming, chaotic love of dog-lovers; and dog people can embrace the considered, independent, unconventionality of those whose tastes veer to the feline.
  2. When the jig is up, just give in: If your date really presses you, and you can’t get out of the subject, then you simply have spill the beans, and find out how they feel about your pets. But when you do, you’d better brace yourself, because one of two things is likely to happen:

    i) They say they don’t like those animals around, so you have to accept that, however charming, beautiful, and smokin’ hot they are, this isn’t going to work as a romance.

    ii) If they effusively erupt with “Oh I love them! I have three already!” then fall on your knees and propose right then – you’ve found the perfect mate and, as the old theme song sang, “This group must somehow form a family.” And accept that now you’ll have to start dealing with all the potential flaws this heaven-sent mate has so far hidden – far more successfully than you have yours!

When it comes to dating, Douglas says to remember this piece of advice: first look for someone who can love, and whom you can love. Love will likely work out the rest – in ways neither of you could have foreseen.

Amy Tokic
Amy Tokic

Amy Tokic, Editor of, is a passionate animal lover and proud pet parent of Oscar, a Shih Tzu/Chihuahua cross, and Zed, a Japanese Chin. Her love of animals began in kindergarten, when she brought her stuffed dog Snoopy into class with her every day. Now, she writes about her adventures in pet ownership and tirelessly researches products, news and health related issues she can share with other animal enthusiasts. In her free time, Amy loves perusing used book and record stores, obsessing over the latest pet products available and chasing squirrels with wild abandon (a habit attributed to spending too much time with her pooches).

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