Hilarious Family Contract Sets New Dog Boundaries
Convincing your parents to let you get a dog is a rite of passage for kids. Some parents are more enthusiastic than others about the idea. The typical “we’ll see” response that some kids get may last through to adulthood. One dad remained unconvinced about the idea of a family pet, so he set up a contract full of rules to make sure all of his concerns would be put in writing. A reasonable idea for someone who wants to make his kids happy on his terms and conditions. The requests ranged from the dog weighing ten pounds (later revised to a reasonable 15 pounds) to it very specifically pooping in one area of the yard (the side, not the front). The very official looking document was signed by every member of the family, sealing the deal.
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Some highlights from the contract include that the dog’s name be excluded from the family Christmas card and that the father is never going to pick up the dog poop. The kids are contractually obligated to never (ever) fall out of love with their new friend. The pup must not shed, drool, or become too smelly as well as refrain from other “gross” doggy traits. The dog’s name must also be approved by the father who has complete veto powers should anyone suggest something too fluffy. Should the dog’s scratching become an issue, the dad has suggested “surgically removing the dog’s feet” which we are assuming is a joke. The dog is also not to have any “fancy” organic meals, as plain dog food will suffice.
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What came of the hilarious contract? A rescued white mutt named Kershaw who fit the bill perfectly was adopted two weeks after the official contract signing. The dog was already house-trained, didn’t drool, shed, or smell and weighed almost exactly 15 pounds. The owners of the dog stated “Kershaw eats dry dog food from Trader Joe’s, and so far hasn’t created any indoor messes that have required the use of harmful cleaning chemicals. Everyone (including Dad) adores the dog, which has been a fantastic addition to (though not member of) our family.”
A happy ending for everyone involved, and thankfully a rescue mutt was found that fit the bill. There seems to be a dog for every home out there. It has been two years since the deal was sealed, and the family couldn’t be happier with their decision, as they were contractually obliged to be.
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