Was the World’s Ugliest Dog Contest Rigged?

Lori Ennis
by Lori Ennis
This year’s winner of the World’s Ugliest Dog title is a Neapolitan Mastiff named Martha. But we think she’s way too cute and think the contest was rigged!

Judges recently named a 125-pound Neapolitan Mastiff named Martha the World’s Ugliest Dog at the Sonoma-Marin Fair in California, beating out several Chinese Cresteds who typically take top honors. The judges found Martha, who had been neglected to the point that she was blind before she was rescued and given her sight back through surgeries, delightful, if not a bit flatulent, in the process.

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Veteran judge Brian Sobel says that he looks for unique dogs, and while the three-year-old sweetheart is definitely that with her jowls-for-miles smile, in a contest of ugly dogs, I have to go out on a limb and say I believe that the winner should be, well… the ugliest.

Martha’s mama, Jessica Burkard of Penngrove, California, adores Martha and her gentle giant spirit and she does seem like a sweet gal. But seriously… Not all dogs catch the pretty stick, if you know what I mean, and this was a contest for them!

Take this gal for example…This 6 1/2-year-old Blue Factor Brussels Griffon is named Monkey. I’m thinking she’s more like a mini-Chewbacca. A mean-muggin’ mini-Chewbacca, that is!

Related: Former World’s Ugliest Dog Wins 2016 Heroic Hounds Award

And talk about mean-muggin’! Don’t let the pink flowery collar on little old Cindy-Lou-Who there fool ya! The look on that Chinese Crested says, “I’ll take a dump anywhere I please, thank you so much,” while her fellow Chinese Crested contestant Zoomer literally has been sentenced for “Being Ugly Indefinitely.” (What else could BUI stand for?!!!)

And honestly!! Scamp’s mama says that she calls him a Rasta dog and he works as a pet therapist to the tune of “One Love,” but I’m preeeettttyy sure she may be referring more to his hot mess, strung out, “Don’t call the cops on me!” look he’s got going on. Martha’s got nothing on Scamp!

Frankly, I question the validity of an “ Ugly Dog” contest with contestants like Jake (left) and Precious (right). I mean, aside from the fact that Jake is extremely, um, happy to see us, I’m sorry…these two with their soulful eyes and upturned noses just have no place in an ugly dog contest!

So, Martha, while I’d never call sour grapes and want you to thoroughly enjoy your $1,500 in winnings and various media appearances, I just have to ask–whose rear did you sniff to get past edge past the competition?!

(P.S. I honest-to-goodness think NO dog is ugly–even the most unsightly are just so ugly they’re perfect! Congrats to all the contestants and especially to Martha, you big hunk of wrinkly love!)

Lori Ennis
Lori Ennis

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